Singleness

Right now, there is nothing that I would rather talk less about than weddings. But unfortunately, I know far too many people who are engaged. So half of what they tell me has something to do with a wedding. I'm kind of sick of it.

And not because I don't like weddings. While I'm not the "I've been planning my whole wedding from birth" kind of girl, I'm not a wedding hater. Weddings are nice and a loving way of showing everyone around you how much you love each other. It's sweet and cute [even if the guy doesn't always participate as much as he should].

But when you are single, it's miserable. It's even worse when you've never even been on a date. That's kind of where I am at this point. It just makes you depressed when  people your age are already planning their entire futures with a significant other.

And I get it, I cannot force a relationship. It doesn't work that way [at least not well]. But being lonely sure does suck... A lot. It's like this vicious cycle that I feel will never end. And these people just remind me of my loneliness. How I've never had someone who even seemed interested in me enough to have ever considered a relationship.

And of course,  today is one day of the year... The one that can be viewed as two different things: Valentine's Day or Singles' Awareness Day. But I'm not going to celebrate either... Because I'm that awesome. I'm celebrating February 14th instead. And by celebrating, I mean buying myself a new cellphone that I probably don't need. Maybe put a little optimism in a day that has usually been cloudy and kind of depressing in my mind.

But back to what the day means to others and singleness... I know people who go out and party and celebrate being single and those who go out with their beloved with a nice dinner or something.  And then there are the people who are even more desperate than me who need to have a Valentine every year [regardless of whether or not it was the same person as last year or if they really like the person].

Really, I just don't know if this day would mean anything more to me if I did have someone. I don't know if I'd actually want to go out and eat or get something nice for him or whatever. Part of me is kind of jaded because of the commercialization of this [and any] holiday. Part of me thinks getting a card and flowers is a nice reminder that at least someone is thinking of you...

Anyway, that's all for today. I'm done reminding myself of how single I am. I need to focus on the 1 million other things I have going on with my life.